But in being married, I’m learning that it is not just me getting married and being me with someone else. And although I’ve grown up with siblings and roommates pretty communally, and know all about sharing, compromising, and living with others, it’s not quite the same as marriage and equality with another human being who hasn’t grown up with you.
So for my first new year as a married woman, I plan to shape up on a few things:
- Patience – because husbands claim they can’t always read your mind
- Communication – but not during a sports game
- Be Positive – because being negative ruins my day, but not his! and it’s always nice to hear compliments
- Be Fair – sometimes the small things don’t matter, except the way the toilet paper rolls…
- Be Supportive – when he has a bad day, I should give him a break if he’s a little negative and doesn’t notice my new haircut
Besides these outlook changes, I plan to be more ritualistic. I’ve read that having little rituals with your mate, can help build bonds. I had friends that would have a monthly date night, but even something small like washing and drying dishes together every night, can help build communication and positive feelings toward each other. And it’s important to have some fun husband wife activities…my husband has chosen bird-watching to be one of our new hobbies. I’ll keep you updated, but I did try it out in Florida – and wading birds are beautiful up close! And finally, I’m looking forward to problem solving our problems…whether by reading books on conflict resolution, or by looking for a relationship counselor. I figure all relationships have problems – it’s good to findthe tools to maintain and improve good relationships before they become bad.
So wish me luck, and let me know your thoughts about your relationships!